I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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