I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
