Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
