I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
