I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
