Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
