Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
