I'm gonna have a badass scar
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize