Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
