This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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