so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hippo gnu deer
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
