You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
