You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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