My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
