party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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