Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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