So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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