these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
