Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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