Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You ruined the universe
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
