I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
