Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
