Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
