whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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