i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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