I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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