She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize