So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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