I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize