Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I would fuck him just for his dog
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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