i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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