You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize