I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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