Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize