We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize