I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
wanna go halves on a baby?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
