guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
