Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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