I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
