Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
