Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
