He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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