Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
