so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
