all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
time to smoke my breakfast
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
