I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
