420 ftw
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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