Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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