Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
