So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just gift wrapped bread.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
