I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
