I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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