the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize