Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
