I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
