I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
