idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
me + whiskey = a bad person
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
