there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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