I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
