So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Randomize