That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
