he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
