absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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