I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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