Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
