I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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