It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He better not be in your backpack
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize