It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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