i just wanna soil my oats bro
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
