that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize