Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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